Girlfriend Allowance is Putting Unnecessary Pressure on Men
- intel3063
- May 11, 2023
- 4 min read
By: Prince Neo Mokwena
The dating culture nowadays has slightly changed due to modernization and social media influence that makes people want to live in a certain way. Hence there is this new concept that has been added into the dating arena, called “Girlfriend allowance”. Girlfriend allowance simply is, when a boyfriend gives his girlfriend money consistently. It can be on a monthly basis or weekly depending on the agreement between the couple.
In order to find out more information about this topic, RC.
Scoop went around campus interviewing random people about this whole concept of girlfriend allowance. 5 out of the 5 women we interviewed, both young and old, supported the idea that a woman should receive girlfriend allowance from their partner.
"It`s important, it`s necessary, for a man to take care of a woman in a relationship.” Says Dorah.
The media played a very huge role in terms of sharing and informing society about this whole concept of girlfriend allowance. Reason being that everyone Rc Scoop interviewed, said that they learned about this concept through the media.
It is understandable, why this concept gained a lot of attention from people. Because people who have influence through media, made many people out there aware that there`s this concept of girlfriend allowance. For instance, like the media personality Boity Thulo once stated that she wants her man to give her R450 000 as girlfriend allowance. Guys, do you know what R450 000 could buy you? For that amount you could get yourself a 2020 Polo GTI, in cash!!! It’s even more than enough to start a business.
This whole concept of girlfriend allowance is just putting men under pressure unnecessarily. Let`s put ourselves in men’s shoes, According to Statistics South Africa, the average salary in South Africa is R23, 982. Let`s say you have a job earning you that amount mentioned and a girlfriend who wants girlfriend allowance from you.
Come month end, you have to pay for your car, house, and other expenses. On top of those expenses, you need to give your girlfriend an allowance, then pay for all the couple’s outings. Also, you plan on marrying that woman, obviously in African cultures, as a man you have to pay the dowry price, and your girlfriend`s family might demand huge amounts of money. Her family might not even care about how much you are paying your woman for girlfriend allowance. Then From there you have to pay for the wedding. Isn`t that too much already for one salary?
This whole concept of “a man must provide” was a globally accepted common ideology, that believed that women should stay at home and take care of children and the house duties, whilst men went to work to provide for their families. Nowadays, more opportunities have surfaced, and women are able to work for themselves and become independent, which is what they are advocating for, under “gender equality”.
Question is, why fight for gender equality but when it comes to financial responsibilities in the relationship, you want to be on the benefiting side, and not go for the 50/50 that you are fighting for?
Two of the women Rc Scoop has interviewed stated that if a man is able to pay for your girlfriend allowance, then that is evidence that he will be capable of taking care of you when you guys get married.
Well, that is not always the case. What if he loses his job soon after marrying you, and he can no longer afford the lifestyle he supported you with? Or you find out that he is drowning in debt trying to impress you.
It honestly just does not make sense that a man should pay a woman to be in a relationship with them. Is it not enough that a man is expected to settle the bill whenever him and his partner go out? Is it not enough for a man to be paying for the “baecations”, and all the gifts?
“I can`t do husband duties while I’m still a boyfriend. Wena, would you come to my place and cook for me every day and clean for me every day?” Says Modibe, one of the men Rc Scoop interviewed.
Piece of advice to men reading this is that, start by providing for yourselves first, before providing for people that you have just met not so long ago. Also keep in mind that just because you give your woman girlfriend allowance doesn’t mean you own them, or you should abuse them, giving them money was your choice. They have every right to leave you, if they feel like the relationship is not working anymore.
Remember, people do come and go in your life, and unfortunately, giving a woman girlfriend allowance, just does not guarantee that they will stay with you forever. So, you do not want to find yourself in a situation whereby after retirement, you have nothing to show that you were once earning an income, no house, no car, nothing, but just memories of you spending money on other people, whilst you have neglected yourself.
In short, men should not be pressured into paying their partner girlfriend allowance, and society should stop enforcing this concept as a requirement to be in a relationship. Having a girlfriend shouldn’t feel like you have another debit order added onto your salary. Instead, men and women in relationships should help each other grow, and not pull one another down in exchange for benefits.
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